we made out on top of his cat.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
