How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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