remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
organizing the empties. That sober.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
