Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
