He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize