it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I lost the right to judge tonight
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
