we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
