why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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