Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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