JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
