You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
