I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
