why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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