I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
