Yo dont text me then not text me
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Everclear isn't food dammit
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
