This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
