I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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