Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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