When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
