Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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