I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
