Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She even gives head with a lisp.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
