dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
