people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
