I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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