So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
