Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
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she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
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When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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