So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I believe in your delicious
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
