There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
