She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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