I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize