who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
