They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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