Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize