Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
