btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
When are your genitals available?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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