I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
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He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
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I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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