All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Is her dick bigger than yours?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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