Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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