and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
