just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
So. Much. Porn.
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