I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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