may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize