if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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