i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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