We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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