u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
