I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
