How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
