As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
