that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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