So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
