There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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