I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
