Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize