Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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