I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
