ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
