this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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