i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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