I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
