She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
