Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
