He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
