you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Randomize
